you change for two reasons;

 I only do this because I'm having fun.

She's never been one to wait around;
She's always moving and dancing.
But for some reason with that boy
She's oh so patient, she'll wait.
She'll wait for no one and nothing
Except for him and only him.

Ana Raymundo, you finally understand what all these mean!
unless you don't remember? :|

even 10 years and 20 boys later;
i'm still going to have a thing for you.

I hate how we never got our chance to see what we could've been. I hate how I know I'm not over you and how I pretend to be. I hate how you've totally moved on and you have no idea that I haven't. I would do anything to rewind-back to a exactly year ago, when it was all just starting, when it was all just so hopeful and promising.

I like to pretend that everything in my world is completely fine. Because if everyone else thinks that you're fine, sometimes you forget for a while that you're not. I keep telling myself everyday that i'm my own person, that i complete me. so i get up everyday, suck it up, study hard and work out and diet enough to lose weight, encourage people, give advice and just try to have some superficial fun. Thinking that if i accomplish all these and i'll be fine and that everything will be okay. and really, despite what i really feel it doesn't matter, because it's how i get by. and its working...for now.

this too shall pass....maybe, maybe not for a long time, maybe never?

Whenever everything falls into place, feels just how it should, and it's all up to my expectations, there always feels like there's something missing. But I can never put my finger to it. I've got a lot of wonderful things in my life, yet, it just feels so incomplete. And then I realize, it's you. You're not with me.

We all take different paths in life, but no matter where we go,
we take a little bit of each other everywhere.

i'll miss you bea and anj! and nica...i miss you already!!:) keep writing in your blog because they make me feel connected to you despite the distance between us :)

awesome weekend. good friends, good times :)

<3You're gonna miss this.
You're gonna want this back.
You're gonna wish these days
hadn't gone by so fast.
These are some good times..
So, take a good look around.
You may not know it now,
but you're gonna miss this.
- You’re Gonna Miss This- Trace Adkins

I was looking at 1 even 2 year old albums in multiply and wow. i'm so amazed at how different we all look...and how different we all are. Okay fine I'll confess! I was looking for blackmail totoy pictures of paolo cause the whole time campaigning today we were all teasing each other. and i wanted pictures this time hahaha! but anyway, yeah. back to my point. (debater attributes wtf) even looking at pictures only months ago, i was so surprised with how much has changed even in a span of only months...how people who were super close barely talk to each other now..or stay with different crowds. I guess its part of human nature (i really have to stop these debate-related statements!:|). What scares me is that friends from high school will drift apart sooner or later. I hope not. I really really dread that possibility. what comforted me last night was talking to ana for hours on ym last night. she hasn't changed a bit :)) and that really comforted me because i miss the company and the friends that highschool gave me. :( In la salle, i'm seen as an ultra bitch because i constantly have to prove myself to my block/proffesors/etc and as to not allow myself to be taken for granted..i think some blockmates secretly wanna hit me na but when i tell ana stories about those she would tell me "good job!" I miss being in a place where i can be myself, talk the way i naturally talk, and not have to worry about being judged. :|

omg. i'm part of the global societies quiz bee on august 1. =)) geek much??? pray for me. i haven't even started studying!
and you know you wanna vote for santugon ;) hahahah! next week, vote derecho =D

i miss you guys. you all know who you guys are ;)

IN

1. Getting 100/100 in my Global Societies Longtest! Originally i got a 90 (3.0) but I got a +10=100/100 (4.0) for attending Saturday Classes! woohoo!! and to think i was even thinking about skipping it. Academically, I'm doing okay. very satisfied =D
2. Hanging out with Bella a lot this week. I think I hung out with her the most since we both went to college. She's friends with my blockmates and I'm friends with her blockmates too..even our blockmates are friends :)) so its so much easier to hang out and we have somewhat similar breaks everyday :)
3. DARK NIGHT Premiere! Best movie ever. I wantched the premiere last thursday night with Bella and her brother Nick. It was so awesome and intense that Bella felt like crying but she ahd eyeliner on so she didn't =)) i'm not kidding xD
4. Seeing Forensic Guild :) i visited AC last friday for tryouts part deux and Dani their new trainer was there! she's so nice, she's good and she's committed to training AC. I'm so excited for the team this year! :) and hanging out with kyla till disturbia at night is definitely part of my list :)
5. Steve Aoki/Uffie/Across the Universe Soundtripping :)
6. Chocolates. need i say more?

OUT

1. Not seeing Stef at all this week. :( her schedule is so different from mine and Bella's :(
2. Missing my friends and not seeing them this weekend :( that goes for you ateneopeeps/benildepeeps/bea etc
   
3. Feeling old in Disturbia. I don't remember being that wild when i was in 1st/2nd year high school. the boys were so totoy and the girls were wearing leather boots and whatthehell outfits. I'm really over open parties. hahaha but on the brightside i got to hang with sina kyla, ina, leo, javi, etc.
4. Missing Campaign Officer's training THE WHOLE WEEK :| I'm so sorry if i'm such a bad campaign officer Erin! :( was just too busy and sick :|
5. Bea=26 days :( I'm dreading August 15
6. Not having a car yesterday night to go out. Leo you suck for not telling Bea I wasn't gonna make it na last night. just kidding.

I'll go now cause i'm talking to nica and i have to study. :|
If you study in La Salle and you're part of the College of Liberal Arts/if you just wanna support, then VOTE DERECHO, VOTE SANTUGON :) [Campaign Week starts tomorrow, i'm excited =D]

On December 24, 2006 at 8 oclock in
the morning, a young 14 year old boy
by the name of Scott Jackson was found
dead. Doctors couldnt come up with the
cause of his death. His mother checked
his emails to see if she could figure
out what happened. Turns out he was
still signed into myspace. She found
he had gone to sleep after he read and
didnt repost a chain letter about a
little girl that kills you in your
sleep with no natrual cause of death.

This is the bulletin he read:
My name is ofelia Heras. Im 16 years
old. Im a murderer. I have no face.
When you look at me youll die
immediately.You have 900 seconds to
repost this or I will visit you
tonight.
repost this as:
3 year old pregnant girl

I'm happy very very happy today, despite the wet/damp/windy/cold weather. I passed that really hard essay long test I've been freaking about (the test that helped cause my sadness/triggered my pms last week). i actually got pretty high! I'm starting to see my work pay off and that makes me feel so much better and more focused to excel. The rain was super strong in taft today but i got out of class by 1 and i went home early and slept 2 till 6. I actuallystill have to write a paper but im too happy i just have to share it. haha and oh yeah, a very delayed midterm test ive been sudying for since last week will finally happen tomorrow (i thik haha). but whatever na, bringme all the work and i'll do my best to finish it. :)

Things I want to say to friends i really miss.

• Ana- I'm kinda talking to you right now, Smile! because you look prettier than you already do..and your christmas morning will come sooner than you know it maybe even faster if you keep smiling ;)
• Leya-We can do this! let's show ateneo and lasalle that we can beat all their smart asses. i know people underestimate us, but lets prove them wrong ;) TTSP right? i love and miss you leya! Sorry I was bitchy yesterday :(
  
• Bea- I know i'll miss you but it doesn't feel like you're leaving. maybe cause its a month away pa. hahaha! but yeah, we need kwento in numbers because even if i still see you a lot there never seems to be enough kwento time :| I miss you gropee. haha I swear I'm not kidding about making you kwento through my mp3 recorder for like an hour when you leave na :)) but then again, there's always skype ;)
• Mireille- I'm very very happy you got your christmas morning/YSL muse bag hahaha My theory about you when college starts is right! (If you forgot my theory just message me haha). You live so near na, we should go out more often! ;)
• Abe-I miss you. so much. I miss our naked parties too xD I'm glad we still talk a lot, and don't ever hesitate to vent/make kwento to me haha. Let's try to stay in the sober club too! bagong buhay ;)
• Stef- I haven't been seeing you in school! our schedules are so different. But yeah..you know i'd cut class if you really needed to vent to me or if you just need someone. I love and miss you that much :)
• Bella- I see you every break haha. I love that you're more hardworking/less lazy na these days. Ou actually texted me with your new number! :)) Ilove that warm hugs and good vibes that you always bring with you. text me every break time k??
• Karla- I doubt, like bell, that you read this but what the hell. Things hapen for a reason and things will get better, promise. :) I'll try to visit you and everyone else in Ateneo real soon
• Nica- I miss you so so much. I didn't even get to go to your despedida. :( I'll call you one of these days and I don't care if i spend a fortune. I miss our haikus toooo.
• Paula- So much stuff has happened to the both of us since summer and we need some catching up! I miss pigging out with you and mart and the others almost everyday last summer. Let's do that again! I miss you nd our gluttony. I miss your kwento and thanks for always being there :)
• Mart- Someone's turning 17 real soon! haha It's your last kiddie year. We can both still date High School Seniors though :)) your transformers building is so far we rarely hang out na :( I miss you penpal. I miss writing to you everyday and giving it during lunchtime. I miss dressing up with a theme to rockwell. I miss getting lost in Bel-air with you :)) see you in a few days, love ;)
• Sabel- Sabel the rebel! I love how you still reply to me 5 seconds after texting you :)) I know people are mean in la salle so i'll visit CSB nalang more often haha. ;) I miss your craziness and our sabw school adventures in AC. Vodka Cruisers! haha I'm happy that you're well adjusted in college now and we better hang out soon, miss chef ;)
• Loupo- I miss you butch! I don't hear from you na. I miss playing wii and looking silly in public, I miss you! We haven't taked in ..forever? :(
• Ikat- Little miss La Salle Dance Company ;) woot! I'm happy you're happy! I still want to hang out every Tuesday and Thursday before your training. and even more hahaha I know you have lotsa kwento cause i have lots too! I miss playing uno stacko in your house! :)) miss you
• Tetel- I miss sitting beside you everyday for the whole day and dancing in our chairs haha. I really miss our rides going to pr going home from parties. You aven't cheated on me in Ateneo, have you? :)) I love and miss you tets. ;)
• Kyla-I hang out with you like every weekend still :)) I have kwento i'll make you kwento on friday! you know i love you and your scandalous ass :)) I cant be emo with you cause i see you a lot! Afternuman in my house with Ina real soon ;)

sorry if i didn't mention you because i really have so much to say to so many people.
I'm still sad and I think a part of me will always be sad because things will never be the same. But its no us dwelling on that sadness. That sadness will make me miss my friends more but it doesn't mean that we won't be friends anymore. haha So yeah, i'm looking past this and will try to always smile.

later! i have a peper to write. some democratic whatever. :| haha

I love you,you and you ;)

When Leya called me last night I felt so much better, thanks. :)

So today I just studied (and no i did not take a break from studying to watch the basket ball game-cause i don't really care), and just awhile ago i reread my 4th year palancas, for the main reason that i just wanna reconnect with my friends through their letters. I still hold on to them. So if you wrote me a palanca last October, rest assured that i thought of you and even cried if your letter was extra mushy. haha. So yeah, I cried. I hate crying. I hate hormones. I hate that I can't wear eyeliner to school anymore because it would be obvious if i cried. :| I know its really lame, but it happens. No matter how much I cry, No matter how many times i read my palancas/text messages or YM convos with certain people, No matter how much i blog about it things will never ever be the same again. Now i know what growing pains really mean.

I know that I have to eventually get over myself and just move on but its easier said than done. Who would've thought that crazy, annoying, kinky-humored,happy,optimistic, ttsp,chocolate-solves-every-problem,funny alex would be this miserable. even i can't believe it. Please don't feel sorry for me or don't try making efforts to remind me of highschool because that's the exact opposite of what i need. I'm jut preempting you. haha

The books are calling me, i have to go back to studying.
Alex

1.Its not okay that I'm tired everyday
2.Its not okay that I get home 8:30pm the earliest everyday.
3. Its not okay that i'm spreading myself too thinly,
    but i do it so i get distracted and busy so i won't have to think of missing highschool
4.its not okay that i don't see my best friends everyday anymore
5.Its not okay that i can't just talk to them anytime anymore because we all have different priorities now
6.Its not okay to be so tired that you miss Nica's despedida
7.It's not okay to be stereotyped in college because of the highschool you came from.
8.It's not okay that I don't get to see Bella and Stef anymore because of our schedules.
9.It's not okay that I don't have anyone to vent to..not even to my 2 college friends
10.It's not okay to be culture-shocked.
11.Its not okay o run to a bathroom cubicle and sit there for 5 mins
    because you just feel like you don't belong.
12.It's not okay that I don't see my friends anymore. Just rarely, on the weekends.
13.it's not okay that I'm not in the mood to study but I have to
14. It's not okay to carry super heavy stuff all day.
15. It's not okay to fight other people, even upperclass men, in elevatorsa just so i won't be late for my next class.
16. It's not okay that I climb 10 floors up because the elevator is just too full
17. It's not okay to fall asleep in some classes but i'm just too tired.
18.It's not okay that i don't have anyone to give me pep talks when i'm about to cry
19. It's not okay to be cranky to everyone because of all the abovementioned
20. It's not okay to comlain like an ungrateful little girl but I'm just really not okay. :(

there's so much more but i'd rather not write them anymore.
i have to go back to studying now.
screw whatever they say college will be...i don't have free time and i'm not having that much fun.

----hoping things will get better,
Alex.

BARACK OBAMAAAAA =) what can i say, i'm a fan :P

So I'm gonna put links and numbers since this entry might be a little too long haha :)


I have to pack for an overnight outreach retreat thing haha till next time fools =P

hay. father edwin once mentioned in out legacy mass that this summer was going to be long..and i actually believe him. haha. so far since after the bora trip my summer has been: dvd-marathon filled, going to mart's/bea's house, watching movies, eating chocolate, eating out, sleeping, bumming, swimming,colling off in rockwell bolly/gb.

Leya Castillo I cannot wait till you get back! I have a huge feeling I'm gonna stop updating this LJ when you get back..or maybe i will again when...eek...school starts. but dont worry (and this includes all my other friends) i am visiting every friday :)Okay. I dont know what else to say. I'm gonna play Sims 2 after this hahaha

IN:
1.Hannah Montana 3D concert with mart and paula (leya i thought of you haha!)
2.realization: no uniforms in college!
3.watching what happens in vegas
4.jumper dvd and mcdo food with mart and ikat in mart's house
5.hanging out in seattle's best with 21 peeps
6.Leya is coming back on monday!
7.parties this coming may (i haven't partied in a while..haven't drank in a while either)
8.hanging out with mart bella and bea in my house
9.sexy sexy ironman =D

OUT:
1.my dad forcing me to go green
2.bea's final date to leave: august 15 :(
3.getting too lazy to work out
4.the heat. the pollution. :|
5.procrastinating on shopping
6.baking tooooo much cupcakes

till next time :)

alex.

It is too hot! I seriously do not know how i'm gonna survive without the aircon around. anyways, past 2 days have been oka i guess. hmm lemme start.

Tuesday. Went to Bolly with Rav, Vieo, Leo, Javi, Abe and Martin. so many people couldnt make it and it wasn't as fun as usual but it beats staying at home doing nothing :P

Wednesday. Watched Ironman with my brother. I was supposed to hang out with Ina and Kyla but my mom wanted me to spend time with my brother. Ironman was awesome. I think everyone should watch it! Then I had dinner with my family..I missed Bolly with 21 because I had to go with my mom to my tita's house. It's okay, i still got to have daiquiris in my tita's house mwahahaha :))


I tag: (I'm only tagging people in LJ)
1.Joyce Raboca- I miss my debate partner. :(
2.Mireille Pio De Roda-uhh we need to shop!
3. Julia Motoomull-my little drama queen
4. Bea Osmena-grope? haha
5.Saira BITCH :))-i still owe you kwento ;)
6. Erin Torrejon-I saw you in Rockwell yesterday
7.Paula San Jose-we both hate Vanessa for Nate!
8.Kyla Centeno- I'm excited for our party next month haha!n

ohmy ohmy ohmy. the past 2 days got me really tired.

Friday. Paula, mart and i met up in rockwell to eat at sumo sam to have a sushifest then we had dessert in the cake club. can you say FULL? i ate so much! then jaime followed and we bought stuff in the grocery to bring to ikat's. Paula, mart, jaime, sabel, loupo and i plus paula's driver could barely breathe on the way to ikat's house riding paula's small car. it was a fun car ride nonetheless. :) We got to ikat's and just ate junk food drank softdrinks and vodka cruisers with 21 and melabu! we played uno stacko which was super fun too. and we talked to gab on skype. rode with mart, paula, jaime and loupo back to makati. hung out in mart's house for a bit then brought paula home. got home around 1:30am.

Saturday.Woke up at 8am to go to high street. met up with kyla who i haven't seen since before i left for bora! after exchanging pasalubongs (since she came from HK), we went book shopping and made kwento in fully booked. had lunch in italianni's-some pasta with vodka in it. then we had dessert in xocolat-bailey's cheesecake. it was a full course alcoholic meal. :)) we wanted to crash leo's new condo in serendra but he was out. boo. :( i left at 2 to meet with michelle abello and we attended this talk on singles..blahblah. i saw kat barretto and other familiar faces. the talk ended at 5:30pm and i bought dvd's on my way home. now here i am. drained and tired as heck.

i shall go watch my dvd's now. im excited! brothers and sisiters season 2, atonement, penelope, p.s. i love you, and entourage season3 & 4. goodbye world. for the next 24 hours i'll be in my room watching and pigging out on junk food and chocolate in my comforters. maybe i'll go out tomorrow. if i'm not so tired anymore. :)

tata for now,
alexsex.

p.s.
im honestly only updating so people i don't see anymore and friends out of the country like leya and nica can be updated haha its like, kwento for so many people in one blow. ahh. the convenience that lj gives me :))

p.s.s.
i miss the beach.

    My Ultimate TTSP Song :)

    Fergie “Labels Or Love” “Sex And The City Movie” Soundtrack

    Shopping for labels, shopping for love
    Manolo and Louis, it’s all I’m thinking of
    Shopping for labels, shopping for love
    Manolo and Louis, it’s all I’m thinking of

    I already know what my addiction is
    I be looking for labels, I ain’t looking for love
    I shop for purses while I walk out the door
    Don’t cry, buy a bag and then get over it
    And, I’m not concerned with all the politics (?)
    It’s a lot of men I know I could find another one.

    Oughta know that I’m always happy when I walk out the store, store
    I’m guessing Supercalifragi-sexy, nothing to be playing with
    I love him, hate him, kiss him, just I’m trying to walk a mile in my kicks

    (Chorus)
    Love’s like a runway but which one do I love more
    No emotional baggage, just replace it with Dior
    Love’s like a runway, so what’s all the fussing for
    Let’s stop chasing them boys and shop some more

    I know I might come off as negative
    I be looking for labels, I ain’t looking for love
    Relationships are often so hard to tame
    A Prada dress has never broken my heart before
    And, ________
    I’mma do the damn thing, watch me do the damn thing
    Cause I know that my credit card will help me put out the flames
    I’m guessing Supercalifragi-sexy, nothing to be playing with
    I love him, hate him, kiss him, just I’m trying to walk a mile in my kicks

    [Chorus]

    Gucci, Fendi, Prada purses, purchasing them finer things
    Men they come a dime a dozen, just give me them diamond rings
    I’m into a lot of bling, Cadallic, Chanel and Coach
    Fellas boast but they can’t really handle my female approach
    Buying things is hard to say
    Rocking Christian Audigier, Manolo, Polo, taking photos in my Cartier
    So we can’t go all the way, I know you might hate it but
    I’m a shop for labels while them ladies lay and wait for love

    [Chorus]